No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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