he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
