just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
