ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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