I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
