we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
