why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
