We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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