Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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