I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
