Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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