Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
