its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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