I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
