Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
