Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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