You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
