He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I intend to get homeless drunk
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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