Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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