well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
