The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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