I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am mentally ready for anal.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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