Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
