we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize