she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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