I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
