Whod you bang
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
