I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
