I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.