is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
well, you know. whores of a feather.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.