So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.