It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences