I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
