so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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