She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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