He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
