So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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