I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
