He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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