How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize