in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
