I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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