why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
