READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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