I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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