nut hugger
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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