I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
