So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
