oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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