WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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