ADVERTISEMENT

• (313): View more from Michigan

  So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Honestly.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Don't say a word.

  Fav 7 1444 788

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

  Fav 12 7681 1114

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (661): View more from California

  i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me

  Fav 93 4849 1774

  share tweet
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon

  Fav 17 4396 1396

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  Are you still giving blowjobs?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Who is this?

  Fav 30 10277 2649

  share tweet
  

• (260): View more from Indiana

  It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.

  Fav 14 1497 4901

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.

  Fav 8 2193 1005

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts

  (805): View more from California

  YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts are serious business

  Fav 14 4449 1315

  share tweet
  

• (514): View more from Quebec

  please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

  Fav 5 1223 872

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.

  Fav 2 911 470

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon

  Fav 0 441 329

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back

  Fav 1 157 165

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.

  Fav 0 42 11

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....

  Fav 0 20 96

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (514): View more from Quebec

  was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch

  Fav 0 15 41

  share tweet
  

Randomize