Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize