we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
