I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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