Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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