Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
