I CAN MOONWALK!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize