thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
