I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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