The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
