winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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