I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
