check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We need to get me chipped asap
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
