i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize